About Me

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

My Feelings About Running

Over the last few months (since October actually) I have been trying very hard to transform my eating and exercising habits. It has been very difficult, and honestly, I think it will be difficult for the rest of my life, however, finally, I think I am seeing some extraordinary results.

First: I have discovered running. Back in October I decided I wanted to be a runner. I have always liked running. It just did not like me. So my main goal was to get my body to a point where I could run 2 0r 3 miles without stopping, without dropping dead. My good friend Susan, who is an amazing runner, took me under her wing and helped me develop a running plan. It goes a lot like this: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml It really works! Two weeks ago I ran my first 5K. Now I have to admit...I have a long way to go. The 5K was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I did have to walk once or twice for 20 or 30 seconds. My time was terrible and I came in at the very end of the pack. But, I did it! And, I loved it! Running Rocks! I like the way I feel when I am running. It makes me want to push my body, it makes me feel invigorated, it makes me feel awake, alive. It makes my thinking process clearer. It makes me have a better day, be a better wife, a better mom. When I don't run, I feel so bummed out.

Second: I have developed some really good eating habits. I realized that carbohydrates were my biggest short coming. So I have tried really hard to cut all the bad carbohydrates out. No refined sugar, no bleached flour. I eat lots of lean protein and lots of veggies. I finally can go 3 or 4 days without even thinking of ice cream or cookies or a bag of Doritos. And when I do think about it, I let myself have a treat. Over the past few weeks it seems to have just clicked. I don't feel like I need to eat every second of the day. I honestly think the running has been the key for me. When I run my appetite doesn't seem to get out of control. I am trying to keep it realistic. I am 100 percent sure that I will mess up, but if I do, I will get right back on track...and just keep running!

Third: I have lost about 45 pounds so far. Since I've had the baby I have slowly, very slowly, lost some weight. It feels so good to have clothes fit me better. I get frustrated at times because I want the chub to come off faster but I think I have finally accepted the fact that slower is better. The slower it comes off the longer it will stay off and that is much more important to me. I don't ever want to go back to the way I felt when I was 9 months pregnant. I want to be healthy and stay healthy. I have a long way to go to my ultimate goal...40 or 50 more pounds, but it's so exciting to think I am half way there!

Last: All of this thinking about my physical health has really helped transform my perspective about my spiritual health. I have never felt closer to Heavenly Father. I have seemed to discover this new image of my divine potential. Heavenly Father loves me, he knows who I am and no matter what I look like...no matter what anyone looks like he will love us forever. I have never been a very confident girl. Sure, on the outside I seem to be out going and fun loving :o) But, I am not so sure I ever understood my inner worth. It was so much easier to say...I am so fat, I am such a looser, I am not a good enough mom or a good enough wife, I am going to fake it today. And honestly I think I faked it a lot. How can you be good at those things if you don't feel good inside. Once I started to feel like I could change things about my outer appearance I started to realize my inner appearance was much more valuable. And I think I have come to the conclusion that I don't need to change that much. I am a good wife, I am a good mom. I am a good person. Or at least I am doing the best I possibly can and if I do try to improve I am only improving on something that is already good.

Oh, and don't worry, I am not delusional, I know that tomorrow may not be perfect or that the next day I may yell at my kids at the top of my lungs and then eat a Twinkie. But today, just for today, I am very, very happy.


jenny said...

Yea, for you! I am so happy things are going so great! You deserve it so much! I cannot wait until this pregnancy is over so I can exercise again. I have not gained too much weight yet, and I feel good about that, but I am disappointed that I have to start all over again... Hopefully most of it will be baby weight and I can start mostly from where I left off.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! How great you have discovered these wonderful things for yourself at such a young age.It's very inspriational for others too. I am so glad you are seeing the worth you have as others have been able to see in you. You are fine young woman as are my daughters and Allison, who are doing the best you can with all you have on your plates these days as well as following the principles of the gospel. Three cheers for all of you! Can't wait to see you this summer!!! Judy