What's That?? Sorry I Can't Smell You.

I suspect everyone I know is sick and tired of hearing this but, I am sick.  I have been sick forever.  No joke.  It has been a month.  I have been to the doctor 3 times and have been on every medication known to man.  I have not been able to hear or smell or taste anything for 4 weeks.  So as you can imagine I am tired.  I am annoyed.  I am depressed.  I have no energy and pretty much just lay around the house all day.  The sun has forgotten my name.  I am not even sure if I remember how to drive.  I make Jeff do everything.  I think he is sick too.  Sick of me.

I am slowly turning into a giant slug (goopy mucus included.)  Can you picture it?  Yummy.  I feel pretty guilty that I am a turning into a slug.  Lots and lots of guilt.  It is almost impossible to be an effective mother when you cannot smell or hear or taste anything.  I cannot tell when Maddie is poopy.  I cannot taste the food I am cooking...too spicy, too salty, no flavor??  I keep thinking Elizabeth's voice is Dallin's voice so Dallin keeps getting in trouble when it is really Elizabeth being naughty.  I am not sure if my house is clean, because I cannot smell where Dallin left his stinky socks or where Maddie left her sippy cup of milk three days ago.  Madeline's snacks have consisted mostly of cheerio's because she can reach them and dump them out and eat them by the handful, no spoon required.  And I just let her do it, because I feel so relieved that I don't have to get up and make her something.  The thing I feel the most guilt about is that my kids brains are turning mushy because I have let them watch as much TV as they want.  Video games?  Yep those too.    

Yesterday I apologized to the kids for like the millionth time that I was still sick and Elizabeth told me that she "loves" it when I am sick.  "We get to do whatever we want."

Great.  That is just great.  Guilt.  Guilt.  Guilt.